The Art of Ogling

Me and my roommate were returning from a movie theater when I noticed a girl in a black dress and black goggles who seemed to be pretty. Maybe I looked for a second too long at her that I was chided by my roommate. "Dude, don't look at girls like that!!", he said out aloud, much to my embarrassment and his delight. This made me think and write about - How the hell do you look at girls?

Let me set the ground rules before you read on. Don't despise men who stare at girls or think of them as perverts. They are doing a public service. This is how it works - Girls spend time, effort and money in buying makeup, clothes and other numerous accessories which make them look good. Have you ever thought why they go through so much trouble?
Sure, looking good boosts self-confidence but it is also to attract other people's attention, men in particular (and in some cases women's attention). If men don't stare at women who look good, women will be disappointed. Surely, they will not go through so much trouble if no one pays attention and stop buying makeup and stuff. This will result in losses worth billions of dollars and cause unemployment to so many people. So the next time you see a man ogling at a woman, thank him.

Ok, so now that we have established that ogling is a noble cause, let us now teach ourselves how to do it. Here are some suggestions:

1. Scan before you look - Before looking at a girl, take a quick scan of her surroundings. If you notice a strong, well-built man standing near her, ogle at your own risk.

2. Make it quick - Don't make the girl nervous by looking at her continuously. This will drive her away. Look at her in short bursts.

3. Divide your attention - Don't keep staring at one girl only. Remember, you are doing this for a noble cause. Your aim should be to look at as many girls as possible. Keep scanning for potential targets but remember Rule 1.

4. Don't let her know - You should try your best to not let the girl know that you are looking at her. As Jerry Seinfeld, a character from the hit comedy series 'Seinfeld', said "Looking at a cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it! You get a sense of it and then you look away."

Hopefully, the above suggestions will help you in your quest of finding good-looking girls. Keep ogling!!

P.S. - This article is for humor purposes only. I don't support people who make life hell for women by causing them discomfort in any way possible - mental or physical. They should be punished to the maximum extent under law.