Skip to main content

The Art of Ogling


Me and my roommate were returning from a movie theater when I noticed a girl in a black dress and black goggles who seemed to be pretty. Maybe I looked for a second too long at her that I was chided by my roommate. "Dude, don't look at girls like that!!", he said out aloud, much to my embarrassment and his delight. This made me think and write about - How the hell do you look at girls?

Let me set the ground rules before you read on. Don't despise men who stare at girls or think of them as perverts. They are doing a public service. This is how it works - Girls spend time, effort and money in buying makeup, clothes and other numerous accessories which make them look good. Have you ever thought why they go through so much trouble?
Sure, looking good boosts self-confidence but it is also to attract other people's attention, men in particular (and in some cases women's attention). If men don't stare at women who look good, women will be disappointed. Surely, they will not go through so much trouble if no one pays attention and stop buying makeup and stuff. This will result in losses worth billions of dollars and cause unemployment to so many people. So the next time you see a man ogling at a woman, thank him.

Ok, so now that we have established that ogling is a noble cause, let us now teach ourselves how to do it. Here are some suggestions:

1. Scan before you look - Before looking at a girl, take a quick scan of her surroundings. If you notice a strong, well-built man standing near her, ogle at your own risk.

2. Make it quick - Don't make the girl nervous by looking at her continuously. This will drive her away. Look at her in short bursts.

3. Divide your attention - Don't keep staring at one girl only. Remember, you are doing this for a noble cause. Your aim should be to look at as many girls as possible. Keep scanning for potential targets but remember Rule 1.

4. Don't let her know - You should try your best to not let the girl know that you are looking at her. As Jerry Seinfeld, a character from the hit comedy series 'Seinfeld', said "Looking at a cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it! You get a sense of it and then you look away."
Hopefully, the above suggestions will help you in your quest of finding good-looking girls. Keep ogling!!

P.S. - This article is for humor purposes only. I don't support people who make life hell for women by causing them discomfort in any way possible - mental or physical. They should be punished to the maximum extent under law.

Comments

  1. bete punishment tumhe milne waali hai

    ReplyDelete
  2. main hoon Moral Police Pune

    ReplyDelete
  3. @Anonymous I know who you are... :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. I guess your girlfriend will not like it ;)!!by the way seems you very much experience in that..one thing you miss is if the girl noticed that you are staring her for a long time , came to you and asked.. what the hell you think you're doing tell her.. didi(sister) I was wondering if you can tell me where is this address?

    ReplyDelete
  5. @Ravi good suggestion!! Looks like you too have loads of experience... :D

    ReplyDelete
  6. You just had a exhausting day. You are returning back and whoa!! you see a pretty face passing by endowed with elegance and drenched in perfume. Suddenly the world starts to seem not all that bad after all. Ogling, which might look cheap at first sight, is omnipresent and totally harmless(in most of the cases). But following the commandments laid here will have its own consequences, so Beware!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

As far as possible, please refrain from posting Anonymous comments. I would really love to know who is interested in my blog! Also check out the FAQs section for the comment policy followed on this site.

Popular posts from this blog

Pi Hole - Ad blocking (Turbocharged!)

The entire internet is now made up of ads. To easily navigate it and find the information you are looking for, most people use ad blocking software. It improves page loading times and also uses less data (sometimes by up to 10 times!)
Google Chrome is the de facto browser of choice for most people. Google's main business is advertising. So you can see how ad-blocking software collides with Google's business objectives. When Chrome was trying to be popular, it started allowing plugins like AdBlock Plus etc. Then slowly it started partnering with them for "Acceptable Ads Program" for a lot of money. Now after cementing its position as the most popular browser, Google is now coming down hard on ad blocking software. It is turning off a Chrome API (webRequest API) which most ad blocking plug-ins use to block ads.
Enter Pi Hole. This is an amazing use of Raspberry Pi which blocks ads before they enter your network. It keeps a blacklist of most popular ad serving domains …

Centralized Configuration for .NET Core using Azure Cosmos DB and Narad

We are living in a micro services world. All these services are generally hosted in Docker container which are ephemeral. Moreover these service need to start themselves up, talk to each other, etc. All this needs configuration and there are many commercially available configuration providers like Spring Cloud Config Server, Consul etc. These are excellent tools which provide a lot more functionality than just storing configuration data. However all these have a weakness - they have a single point of failure - their storage mechanism be it a file system, database etc. There are ways to work around those but if you want a really simple place to store configuration values and at the same time make it highly available, with guaranteed global availability and millisecond reads, what can be a better tool than Azure Cosmos DB!
So I set forth on this journey for ASP.NET Core projects to talk to Cosmos DB to retrieve their configuration data. For inspiration I looked at Steeltoe Configuratio…

IoT on Google Cloud Platform

Google wants people to use its Cloud Platform for connecting and managing IoT devices through IoT Core and use other GCP components like BigQuery to analyze data produced by those devices. While these products are fantastic, they also have some real world challenges.
IoT Core provides a managed service for connecting IoT devices. It talks with both HTTP and MQTT protocols and features one-click integration with Cloud PubSub easing most of the infrastructure tasks. However there are some limitations:
You cannot use any random MQTT topic to send/receive messages as you would expect on a custom MQTT bridge. There are special topic formats to send messages and also to receive commands.IoT Core uses Public-Private Key cryptography to secure devices. All IoT devices must first authenticate using the Public Key in a JWT token and then start sending and receiving messages. While these may seem like reasonable restrictions, one has to keep in mind that hardware vendors are still stuck in the 9…